Nerd Wars
Episode 1: The Random Menace
The other day, while he should have been working, Brendan came across The Nerd Handbook and made the mistake of sending the link to me. As the post on his blog would suggest, he likes to think that it is the definitive guide to all things Brendan. I decided to test his hypothesis.
Now let’s just get one thing out in the open. What I’m doing may seem mean but there’s a precedent in our relationship for this sort of behavior, and, I’m pleased to say, it’s one set by him. I used to be a helpful sort, you see. Then he decided to make a game of hiding his watch around the place to see how long it took me to find it and return it to him. And had he not run out of plausible places for a missing watch to turn up he might still be getting away with it. The cutlery drawer was, however, a stretch.
Someone, I’m sure it must have been Sun Tzu but it may well have been Doctor Spock, advised prospective combatants, either in war or raising babies, that they should pick their battles. With that sage advice in mind, I picked the Cave.
Each object in the Cave has a particular place and purpose. Even the clutter is well designed. Don’t believe me? Grab that seemingly discarded Mac Mini which has been sitting on the floor for two months and hide it. You’ll have 10 minutes before he’ll come stomping out of the Cave — “Where’s the Mac?”
Now I’ve allocated Brendan a corner in our living room for his Cave so there is no Mac Mini on the floor. There is, however, a vast array of little treasures on his desk, all of which he claims to have vital importance to his everyday life. Armed with that knowledge and a plan I made my way to the battlefield.
What to take, what to take? A single DVD, while funny, would have been cheating. His monitor, while also funny, would have been making it too easy for him. Let’s not forget, he has ten minutes in which to prove me wrong. I settled on the thing I most despise. His battery charger. Why such venom for such a harmless little gadget? It makes beeping noises whenever he does anything with it. Loud ones. I don’t filter sounds well and can’t ignore it. If I’m watching TV or listening to music when he decides to tinker with it, I can’t hear anything over its beeping.
I tucked the charger away safely in our bedroom and waited for him to return home from work. Ten minutes passed. Nothing. I gave him the benefit of the doubt. After all, those ten minutes had been spent on the sofa with me, not at his desk. We needed to go to the supermarket. My deadly sin is pride and would not be going out dressed in my daggy shorts-and-t-shirt combination so went to get myself changed and tidied up. He took the opportunity to potter at his desk. More than ten minutes passed. Still nothing. So round one went to me. As we made our way around the supermarket I told him as much.
Not to worry, my dear, you’ve got five more episodes.
Tagged: Entertainment, Hobbies.