Nerd Wars
Episode 2: Attack of the Sticky Fingers
Emboldened by my victory in Episode 1, I decided to choose an object a little closer to the centre of his attention. To the right of his keyboard he has a little (bright yellow) plastic box which contains his precision screwdrivers. This was a daring ploy for two reasons. One, the box itself stands out like a shag on a rock. The second, and far more significant, reason was that it was almost as obvious a choice as the battery charger.
My first encounter with sets of tiny screwdrivers came many years ago. It was back when the only people who would need such tools were jewelers, for watches, and optometrists, for glasses. As a result they were named “jewelers screwdrivers”. So I was a little bemused when he declared his need for a set of precision screwdrivers. Was it that I couldn’t fathom why he’d need them? No. Was it because I already had a set for tightening up my glasses? No. It was because it was such a boy thing to call them.
Boys do not, as a hobby, tinker with jewelery. Calling the tiny tools (the screwdrivers, not the boys) “jewelers screwdrivers” was simply not the done thing any more. It ran the risk of giving the world, or at least the local hardware store, the wrong impression about the tinkerer. So the name was changed to precision screwdrivers instead. Why is that funny to me? I don’t quite remember. I think it had something to do with the fact that it just sounds a little wanky.
Whatever my reasons, my amusement was well established. In fact, Brendan doesn’t like me calling them “precision screwdrivers”. He claims he can hear the mockery in my voice. He’s probably even right. So I chose the precision screwdrivers because I felt that he would look first for the things most likely to appeal to my sense of humour now that he knows what my game is.
His defense when he failed to notice the missing charger was that he had been allocated insufficient time. I allowed him the entire evening. Finally, when I was having my pre-bed shower I called out to him. “Did you spot what was missing this evening?” I asked, peering out from behind a curtain of shampoo foam.
“You took something else?”
Pfft. Of course I did. He asked if it was his soldering station. After my noncommittal answer he peered down the hallway. Nope. Suddenly unnerved and a little paranoid he stalked back to his Cave to try and identify the missing item. I was rinsing the conditioner from my hair by the time he returned, claiming I was taking the piss, and had, in fact, removed nothing. I told him two things. One, I had indeed taken something. Two, it was something that would appeal to my somewhat odd sense of humour. He didn’t need to look. He knew what it would be. Unfortunately not good enough.
Better luck in Episode 3.
Tagged: Entertainment, Hobbies.