One Angry Monkey

The Man of the House has gone all alpha-male on me. I’m not quite sure what to do with him. I’ve never really been that great a fan of being bossed about by the male of the species. Conveniently, he’s never had bossy tendencies. But something has changed all of that.

What cataclysm could have brought about such a polar shift in MotH’s behaviour? I’m so glad you asked. You see, this evening every drain in our house simultaneously clogged.

When someone in the house suffers from chronic intestinal distress that sort of thing is almost inevitable. I’m kind of shocked it’s taken this long, but this is pretty much the longest we’ve been in one place. Now I find myself envisioning us leaving a trail of rental properties with time-bomb toilets across Adelaide as we move about from place to place, using up the plumbing and leaving like the back end of a swarm of locusts. That’s on me. I admit that.

So when the drains clogged, discovered when MotH tried to flush the toilet (it always starts in the toilet, doesn’t it?) I sent him out to buy our very first plunger. Thus began his downward spiral. He found me a plunger worthy of Mordor and returned to unclog my drains. We believed the problem existed solely in the bathroom. So he unclogged the drains through there and all seemed well in the world. I opened a new bottle of wine to celebrate.

A few mouthfuls of that and I realised I had made a grave error in judgment. The wine tasted vile. So I did what any good connoisseur would do and poured it down the drain in the kitchen. At least, I tried to. It just kind of sat there, taunting me. You won’t get rid of me that easily, it said. I’m here for the long haul, baby. I summoned MotH through to see if he could hear the taunts as well. Apparently he could, because he went straight for the plunger.

I wanted to do it myself. I’m not helpless, nor am I frail. I have some experience of my own with plungers courtesy of the stupormarket. MotH wasn’t content with that resume and thus wrestled the plunger from my grasp and proceeded to unclog the kitchen drain “properly”. Once he was done doing that, he went back to the bathroom and attacked the toilet with renewed vigour.
The poor thing may never recover.

I’ve created a monster.

This entry was posted on Thursday, June 5th, 2008 at 9:58 pm and is filed under Journal. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.